With all of the responsibilities that come along with caring for children, sometimes everyday stress and the seemingly never-ending to-do lists can become overwhelming. The pressure to perform or keep up weighs heavily on us. But between doctor visits, school meetings, sports, music lessons, playdates, homework and the other parts of daily routines, it can be tough to juggle everything. Becoming our own worst critics, we question our ability to do what needs to be done each day. But if children we cared for were struggling to keep up, is this the same position we would take? Or would we support them and build them up?
Self-compassion is a trauma-informed therapeutic tool that encourages us to treat ourselves when we are struggling the same way we would treat others when they begin to struggle.
Self-compassion goes beyond self-care or even self-love. It is giving ourselves the time needed to get things done, quiet spaces when we need a moment to ourselves, permission to ask for help and the freedom to reassure ourselves that sometimes not meeting all the expectations before us is okay!
The next time you begin experiencing disappointment, frustration or even anger toward yourself due to a small mishap — a forgotten appointment or a sink of dishes that remain dirty — rather than jumping to criticize yourself, take a moment to ask yourself, “What do I need today? What truly needs to get done?” This radical shift in the way we speak to ourselves not only allows us to become more compassionate to ourselves, but models this concept for the youth around us.
Learn more about how you can incorporate trauma-informed care into your daily life through some of our related blog posts.