May is a Time to Celebrate and Reflect on Foster Parenting

May is Foster Care Awareness Month, and we want to recognize and celebrate the exceptional work of our foster parents. Next month, we are encouraging individuals in Kansas and Missouri to explore joining foster care to join this remarkable group of ordinary people who become extraordinary each and every day by being the caring adults in the life of a child. 

We also chatted with Shelia Rancatore, our Executive Director of Missouri Programs, who has worked with foster parents for many years. Shelia candidly shares her experiences and the changes she has seen over the years.

Shelia, you’ve been involved in child welfare for a number of years. How has foster care changed over that time?

One of the nice changes I’ve seen is the number of foster parents who work diligently to involve the birth families of the children they serve. Those foster parents take an active role in supporting reunification of the birth family, and that is heartwarming to see. Conversely, we have empowered foster parents in their role in the process. Foster parents have more of a voice with foster care case managers and with the courts. Foster parents have firsthand knowledge of how youth react to home visits and offer important feedback in the case planning of foster youth. 

Has support from organizations like Cornerstones of Care changed?

Cornerstones of Care sees the number of our foster care cases change as our contracts change. That sometimes presents challenges in providing care, but it also provides some flexibility. Some of that flexibility comes in the form of providing more resources to foster families. We strive for a high degree of individual attention to foster families, and we look for opportunities to provide that attention when it’s needed. 

Do you see examples of foster parenting that make you say “This is how it should be done. This person is doing things the right way”?

It has been gratifying to see foster parents invite biological parents into their home to have meals with their children and tuck their children into bed at night. We also see foster parents who stay connected with youth after foster care is over as an unofficial grandparent and support youth after they are out of care. Those lifelong connections make a huge difference to a youth who has transitioned out of foster care. 

What’s an area that you think foster parents can improve?

Improvement is on a case-by-case basis, and I believe we all can improve at something. If foster parents have a good relationship with their case managers, then I think they can work on improving together.  

I would like to see kinship foster parents, who enjoyed fostering a relative or a child they know, to consider becoming licensed foster parents. Kinship foster parents understand how the process works and with additional training they can be confident in fostering other children. 

Along the same line, I would encourage foster families to stretch and trust their case managers who may ask them to take in teens or take siblings if they have the space.  

Some foster parents prefer not to foster teens. What is important to remember when you foster a teenager?

It’s important to remember that teenagers aren’t looking for a replacement parent. They are looking for a mentor, a support system, and most importantly a caring adult. Many of our kids have hopes and dreams. Some may want to go to college or want to start a professional career. As foster parents, we focus on helping our children work through trauma, but we must remember that some of them are honor roll students, kids who have part-time jobs and are saving their money, and all of them are thinking about their future.