Courtney Morgan-Roberts was boarding a plane to California in early January for a work trip when she received a congratulatory email announcing that she and her partner, Brittany were officially licensed as foster parents.
A few hours later, the plane landed on the west coast, and Courtney checked her phone again. To her surprise, there was a voicemail in her inbox that said, “We have a five-month-old girl. Can you take her?”
“It was really fast for us,” said Courtney with a laugh. Despite the quick timeline, something about this placement felt right, and the couple decided to say yes.
In the span of a few weeks – while Courtney was away on her trip – Brittany did the hands-on work of preparing the house and the family for a new baby. The couple already had full lives managing full-time jobs, three biological children ages 8, 10, and 12, and two large but lovable pups.
Fortunately, they didn’t have to do it all alone.
The couple was inundated with support from current and former foster parents, connections through Courtney’s job, and friends and family who wanted to lend a hand. This support network offered advice to the couple and shared clothes, toys, and other necessities.
“It was really awesome to see these people that still to this day come out and are supportive and see what they can do to be helpful,” said Brittany.
Six weeks later, Courtney and Brittany received another call and were asked whether they wanted to foster a nine-month-old boy. They hadn’t planned on taking two kids, but they liked that both babies were about the same age with similar needs. Again, they said yes.
“It’s a beautiful chaos,” said Courtney. “It’s so amazing and so wonderful, and such a blessing in a thousand ways, and it’s still one of the hardest things we’ve ever done.”
Courtney and Brittany first met in 2017 while working at Clarinda Academy, a youth facility in Iowa that served youth with significant behavioral and mental health needs.
While employed there, they noticed many foster children were sent to the facility simply because the state lacked available foster homes and had nowhere else to send them. It frustrated them to see these children not getting the support they needed from a caring, loving home.
Fast forward to the summer of 2022 when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled on Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health, overturning Roe v. Wade, a decision that paved the way for states to limit or outright ban abortion rights.
“Our country was already overflowing with children in foster care, and then we took away the option from women who don’t want children or aren’t prepared for it,” said Brittany.
So, the couple decided it was the right time to begin the process of becoming foster parents and took the required classes online to gain licensure early the next year.
A common misconception for individuals or couples who identify as LGBTQ+ is that they won’t qualify to be foster parents. The truth is that Cornerstones of Care encourages diverse candidates to apply for licensure and that individuals with unique cultural backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives are valuable additions to our foster parent community.
As temporary parents and guardians, Courtney and Brittany are intentional about keeping open contact with the biological parents of each child. They send pictures, share updates, and do visitations with the parents and case workers.
Although their experience with the biological families has been positive overall, there have been some challenging moments along the way.
“One of the difficulties of being an LGBTQIA family is that people see us and just assume that we want to take their baby,” said Courtney. Or they misdirect their anger at being separated from their children at the foster parents.
“Imagine your child reaching out to a different adult for comfort,” said Brittany. “We’re not taking offense. Instead, we’re saying, ‘We’re still going to be here for you.’ If we know we’re doing the right things with the right intentions, we just have to keep doing that.”
As a result of their efforts to be patient and understanding with the biological parents, Brittany and Courtney have started to see some of the defensiveness and anger dissipate. They feel fortunate that they’ve had few, if any, experiences of discrimination or prejudice as an interracial, same-sex foster couple and credit the growing acceptance of diversity in our society as key to that experience.
“Our thing is love,” said Brittany, reflecting on their conversations with their kids around those with different beliefs and values. “One of our favorite things to teach them is that you don’t have to understand what someone else is feeling. You’ve gotta just meet them where they are and have love and understanding.”
The next few months and years of this fostering journey are filled with unknowns for the Morgan-Roberts family as they continue to care for their foster kids while the biological parents do what they need to do to regain custody.
For now, Brittany and Courtney are taking this time to revel in the joys of parenting and cherish those developmental milestones for each foster child.
“They are unbelievable,” said Courtney. “Now that she’s gotten to know us and we are comforting to her, she’s cheesing all the time and will laugh and talk.”
When they first received the five-month-old girl, they were told that she had failure to thrive and was in a low-growth percentile. Since joining the Morgan-Roberts family, she has progressed from being unable to roll over to learning to take steps independently.
“It’s amazing to watch her develop,” said Brittany.
Similarly, the little boy was weak and had health issues when he first entered foster care. Now, he crawls, eats baby food, and is developing better than expected.
“He lights up a whole room when he smiles,” said Courtney. “It’s a huge, huge blessing that we get to wake up to that every morning.”
Visit our Become A Foster Parent webpage to learn more about how you can become a foster parent in Kansas or Missouri.