Getting Real About Workplace Boundaries: A Three-Part Series

Part One – Work/Home Life Boundaries

Like many of us, Cornerstones of Care’s Human Resources Manager Reza Soleymani-Alizadeh used to be pretty lousy at setting boundaries around work.

“I was putting in overtime and talking about it proudly,” said Reza. “I was staying up until 10 p.m. doing work and checking emails, and I realized that wasn’t something to be proud of.”

Before his transition to Human Resources, Reza spent nearly a decade working various roles in the social services sector, including counselor, youth case specialist, and director of a small residential facility. While in direct service, he saw firsthand how a lack of personal and professional boundaries at work contributed to burnout and turnover.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, Reza took a hard look at his priorities and realized that he needed to be intentional about boundaries so that he could be fully present for the things that mattered most to him, including his wife and children.

Now, Reza is a vocal advocate for boundaries in the workplace and is known around the office for being transparent and open about his boundaries and encourages others on his team to do so, too.

His first piece of advice around workplace boundaries is to create a work calendar that includes a clear and consistent start and end time and breaks throughout the day.

“Honor your time off and even your breaks during the day,” said Reza. One way he does this is by keeping a separate work phone that always remains at his desk. If he leaves his desk to take a break, his phone stays there.

Reza encourages remote team members to create a separate home space dedicated to only work. He acknowledges that having a dedicated workspace is a privilege only some team members have. However, it’s still possible – and important – for team members who work in the field or at an office to set boundaries with work.

For team members who are on-call during odd hours, Reza suggests creating a check-in process.

“If you’re always on call with clients, then choose when you’ll check in with your phone and when you’ll let go of the control,” said Reza. For this to work, team members need to let their coworkers and clients know how quickly they can expect a response and keep that response time consistent.

The bottom line is that boundaries are not a one-size-fits-all type of thing, and there needs to be some trial and error and flexibility to make it work.

“To me, it’s all about communication,” said Reza. “As a supervisor, if I notice someone is taking advantage of their boundaries and the job isn’t getting done, then we’ll have a conversation about that.”

Before calling it quits at the end of the workday, Reza has one other suggestion that could have a profound effect for team members who struggle to disconnect from their job mentally.

“I know it’s cliché, but one of the things I would say is put 10-15 minutes on your calendar after your last meeting to shut things off and wind down from work,” said Reza. “I think of it like cooling down after a workout. With work, you still need to have the same practice for your mind because you’ve been working your mind all day. Very few people do the transition out of your work mindset.”

Although this can feel like an unnecessary step at the end of a long day, it can prevent team members from taking their work stress home and dumping it on their spouse or family. Instead, Reza suggests, take the time to cool down and let go of the workday.

“If you work away from home, listen to music in your car for 10 minutes before you commute home. Ask your spouse, ‘Can I vent about something to you?’ This takes self-awareness to do, but these conversations need to happen,” said Reza. 

There may be times when other team members don’t agree with another person’s boundaries around work, and a conversation or negotiation may be necessary. For Reza, it’s well worth it to open yourself up to a dialogue around boundaries and to be clear about what boundaries you need to thrive both at work and at home.

“I feel that it has truly allowed me to be present with what is most important, which is my kids and family and my physical and mental health,” said Reza, “and stop trying to control what is out of my control and live in the moment.”