Team Member Profile: Nicole Newton Has Three Reasons to Celebrate National Adoption Month

On November 18, Nicole Newton, Director of Resource Family Development in Kansas, will participate in the invitation-only National Adoption Month event at Children’s Mercy Park to celebrate Kansas families that have adopted through Cornerstones of Care. However, adoption is not just part of Nicole’s job — it’s part of her life.

Nicole has first-hand experience with adoption, having adopted three now adult children: Michael, 23; Amirah, 21; and Senae, 20.

Over the years, Nicole has fostered 24 children with the goal of reuniting them with their birth families. Many of the children Nicole fostered struggled with drug use, medical issues, neglect, and abuse. She recalled an early fostering experience with an 11-month-old who had a medical condition that made him unable to swallow liquids.

“I tried to take the littles who were the toughest cases I could manage,” said Nicole. 

Michael, Amirah, and Senae all came to her before they were school-age, and at one time, Nicole cared for seven children under the age of five. As a single mother at the time, Nicole credits her parents for providing support and helping the children experience a multi-generational family.

“I come from a big family, so I was used to having a lot of kids around,” said Nicole. “It just took a lot of organization.”

Amirah and Senae came to Nicole a few days after she watched a horrific story on the news which involved the girls’ mother.

“When they walked in the front door of my house, one of the girls said, ‘Hi Mommy,’” said Nicole. “It seemed like a blessing for us to be together.”

Michael came next. At three years old, he was placed at Spofford Home for behavioral treatment. After eight months at Spofford, Michael was placed with Nicole to start adoption proceedings. As a way of acknowledging their family, they celebrate “Gotcha Day” on August 17.

“I tell them they were born out of my heart,” said Nicole.

In addition to getting support from her family members, Nicole focused on building structure and accountability when her children were young. Efforts to do this included involving the children in their church and helping them to meet other children and develop friendships.

She also encouraged the three children to participate in a variety of activities. The girls danced at the Friends of Alvin Ailey Studio, and Michael played several sports.

The activities gave the children a sense of purpose and certainly a sense of joy. Not being able to participate in activities provided an understanding of consequences. The children occasionally were not allowed to do favorite activities to hold them accountable for misbehaving, and Nicole had other creative ways to help them understand how to get along. Occasionally, the three children would have disagreements, and Nicole huddled the children together in an oversized shirt, where they stayed until they worked out their disagreement.

Nicole wasn’t a strict disciplinarian. She helped the children identify solutions to their problems and shared advice to keep them on the right path. She would let her children express themselves and tell her what they were experiencing. They would then decide what to do differently.

“When they were teenagers, they would tell their friends that they could tell me anything, and I wouldn’t judge them,” said Nicole. “I listened to them and wanted to know what was going on without judgment.

Over the years, Nicole has seen her children overcome difficult challenges through persistence and commitment. Now in their early twenties, the children are taking steps into professional careers and adulthood. Senae plans to go to nursing school, and Amirah creates visual art and is taking business classes at a community college in Iowa. Michael became a father earlier this year to a son named Kamari.

“Michael is such a good and sensitive kid,” Nicole said. “He’s a smart young man who is finding his path in life.”

Grounded in her own childhood experience, Nicole believes that being a family means supporting each other and has shared that belief with her kids from the beginning. Now, she takes pride in hearing her adult children express the importance of family and belonging.

“I hope that I have given my children the compassion, empathy, and grace that was given to me when I was growing up and that they have the ability to pass it on as well.”